Stressed!

I am getting more and more stressed, and today was one of the days that I thought that I just didn't want to leave my bed.
But I got up, took a walk in the beautiful sunlight and the just tried to rinse my head from everything.

I am so stressed about everything right now. My job, my film projects, my life, my being. And it sucks! Big time!!!!!

I am proud that I turned down one production that called me and asked if I wanted to be an extra. I know I can earn some money, but I just felt that I don't have time. I need to focus on my own projects and job.

And I am stressed about some of my work. Stressed that I will loose two of my youths I am working with due to that they are moving away and that we don't have that much contact any more. Stressed over not knowing what the summer or fall will bring.

One thing that really stresses me is my own film project: The Rain.
I just have a dream of making a film and just make something that I can stand for and that is good. And I do get a lot of help from everyone.
I mean, Film på Gotland (our local resource center) provides us with camera equipment, Filmgymnasiet Gotland provides me with facilities to film in. All my actors and crew a working for free and making the best of every day! And I am so blessed to have them around me.
What stresses my out is that I don't have enough money to make the film with. Money so we can build props and sets. Money so that I can buy food for my actors.
And also time... There is to little time. We are filming from time to time when every one is available, and that is a big puzzle to work with. It is hard to make a scheduel not knowing when people can film or not.

I am stressed out and sometimes I am starting to doubt on my self and my abilities...

I just want to life my life and do the thing that makes me happy. That's all!