See this film! And if you somehow can get it to the stupid president of Russia, Vladimir Putin, please make it happen.
If not to him then to the rest of the people who think being gay is wrong!!!! It isn't...
You are who you are and end of story. Please be proud of who you are!!!!
And for those who has to live in fear without being able to show your true nature: Stay strong! We hear you and want to be here for you.
It is a new year and wow, so many things has happened and will still happen!
I have moved! Yes, now I live in a big house that I am renting. And to move from 42 square meters to 120 square meters, that is a bit of a change.
All of a sudden I realize I have to little furnitures, to little stuff over all, and therefore I have so much more space! It is actually looking clean all the time! :) And that is a big thing, for me.
I hate cleaning...
But I have my own house, with a garden where I can be free and grow my own vegetables and fruit and berries. I can start to live!
So, for the time being I am happy! And will try to write here a little more often. ;)
To be honest, right now my self confidence is low.
And I don't have any reason to feel that way. People are happy with me. People have confidence in me. Even people I don't know can open them self up to me.
I have a part in a short film that I am looking forward too!
So why am I feeling that low. I don't know. Maybe it has been to much of that extra "attention" that has made me stumble a little. I am not used to be loved in that way.
I don't know what to say. I thought I had got over my ex. Well, get over and get over... We are wonderful friends! And that is a really good thing.
But now he has got a new partner, and I am glad for him, even though it hurts. And that makes me confused. That it has been three and a half years since we split up and still there is a sting in my heart.
Well, we do lived together for 4,5 years and had mostly good times. And we got so close to each other. Could be therefore it hurts, that we shared so much and now it is somehow the final nail in the coffin.
And maybe I feel alone. Or left alone, and I don't have any reason at all to feel left alone. He hasn't left me for an other guy. I was the one who left him for my home.
God, it is so confusing! And I am not sure I want a new relationship, or maybe I do.
I feel sad, and down, but still I am glad he has a partner that he can love and that can love him. That is something that everyone deserve! To be loved!
I got a DVD today, with a film that I has sponsored through crowdfunding (Kickstarter.com).
It felt a bit special to know I have helped people to make a dream come true, even though I didn't gave that much.
But then I saw the film. It was okay. Not the best film I have ever seen, but fine. I just didn't understand the story. Sorry guys, but the story just didn't get through.
It is a post apocalyptic story and there is a virus in the world. And people want to be a part of the Horizon Project that will lead to a better place. That much I got. But then I just got lost...
And that made me think about my own movies...! People are supporting me in my filmmaking career. And I don't want to make them disapointed. I just want to make a film that people will enjoy and understand and want to support.
Well, I am happy I helped fellow filmmakers out there by supporting them with crowdfunding! I hope they will succeed with the film and that the will continue to make film! And I will continue to support filmmakers as well.
Last day it was the yearly film contest "nooMaraton" here in Sweden. It is a really funny contest where you get 24 hours to make film from certain criteria, and people all over Sweden compete at the same time with the same criteria. This years theme: "requirements marked" (not sure of translation here) Locations: Under a lightpole, in a hut and in a lineThings: Bracelet, app and music instrument We were a bit worried while filming since we somehow lost control and only had 6 extras, but those extras did a wonderful job! :) But we gained control in the editing and we started out with 26 minutes of raw material. (The film cannot be more then 5 minutes) Then we edited it some more and got down to 7 minutes. My partner then said that no way we can get it any shorter. Ha, he was so wrong! We managed to make a film, with credits, that were 4 minutes and 57 seconds long. Now it is up to a jury here on Gotland to pick a winner, from 11 different contributions, and that winner to the big finale in Stockholm! And even if we don't win we had a great time making the film! What I do like about this competition is that it is not about the best quality of camera or image. It is how to make a story! How to get all the criteria in to the film in the best storytelling way as possible. That is what filmmaking is all about! To tell a story! Here is our contribution for this years nooMaraton. And we hope you'll like it!
Every know and then we need to be revolting! No doubt about that. We need to step up in front of everyone and say: Let's go this way!
We also need to be revolting to our selves too. Like, you know that something is safe and secure, it has always been like that and most likely always will be like that, but then you have an opportunity to make some thing different, but then you need to step outside the box! You need to get unsafe. Loose the grip for a little while.
And maybe your mind says "No", your heart says "Yes" and then there is confusion.
You even talk to your friends and family, just to see what that would say and/or do, and they will divide in to you mind and heart.
Suddenly you just realize you want to follow your heart! Even though it means that you will loose control for a second. Even if all your friends becomes your mind and says: No!
You just need to do this! You need to be revolting!
Because you know that if you do this you will change something in your life, and hopefully for the better!
But then, you start thinking about it. You will loose the safety. You will stand alone in something and it probably will take a lot of time before your mind comes along.
I do believe that you should to what you want, when you want it because you want it! That is like important for your soul. And to make a statement for your mind that you are who you are.
And to be revolting doesn't have to be big. It can just be a small statement, to walk against what others consider to be normal! Never be normal!!! Be you!
I am revolting against my self and will change my life, maybe for the better. I don't know!
