Not okay...

Well, last day was the last of four semi-finals of Melodifestivalen. And I don't know what to think, once again.

Charlotte Perelli, who won the big Eurovision with "Take me to you heaven" and then a few years ago competed with the cool song "Hero", made a try this time again. And I thought that she were going to make to the finals or at least to the Second Chance. But no, she had to leave...

Then we had Danny... It was predicted that he would win. But it was false, boring and not okay. The only thing I liked was the show and the costumes, but there is more to Eurovision Song Contest than just a cool show and cool costumes.

Look at Loreen's "Euphoria", that is a naked show, simple costumes and simple lightning. One dancer that together with Loreen dances a contemperary dance, that just makes the number almost perfect.

The big surprise was that Lisa Miskovsky also went to the final! And that was great! In my opinion she had the best song, but non of the songs last day was good.

In two weeks we'll know who we will send to Baku. I hope that the Swedish people votes with the mind this time...

"Euphoria" can win it all! That is the only song of all the 32 songs we have heard so far that sticks in my mind. The only song I can remeber, and you who are following this blogg know that I have a hard time to remeber stuff.

Don't know...

Now I have taken 10 pills of the TriBvit. The pills I bought for my memory.
And I don't know if they are working... I can't remember... Okay, that was just a bad try for a bad joke... Sorry about that.

The fact is that I marked the pills with days, just so I know that I have taken them. Otherwise I might take an extra pill or maybe just forget to take one in the first place...

And also, I have this other medication that I need to take 5 times a day during 5 days every now and then... I then I can assure you that I need alarm clocks and mark up the pills. Crap! I am just getting older.

Right now I am thinking about going to the doctor and talk to them and see if they can help me out. Because I am running scared.
It is just the short term memory that fails...

So I guess this blogg is also a good thing for me, then I can go back a few weeks in time and see what I actually did, and felt.

Well, I have 50 more days of TribVit and then I will do my own evalution. Until then, I'll keep marking up the pills and have my alarm clock on stand-by.

My dream...

I have a dream!

Those are the words that can change everything. I have a dream! Because if you have a dream, you have hope. And hope is one of the strongest thing in the world.
What if your hope runs out? Then your dreams would just not be nothing more than a blank thought...

I have a lot of dreams. I am a true dreamer. I dream of love, to win at the lottery, to buy my own house, to be free from all my economic debts, to make my films and so on.

At some times I have stopped hoping for winning the lottery, to find love and so, and then I have just felt so unliving. Like a gray mass that just walk around with no goal...

Now I have one dream that is a bit stronger then the rest. A dream of making my filmproject become reallity. I have had this dream since I was 14 years old.
To make a film in Super 8mm film.
That dream has followed me throughout the years, and now I am almost there to make it!

But then what? What happens when I have fullfilled my dream? Does it all end?
No, I don't think so. I think that a new dream will form. A dream that I will walk around with for an other 16 years, before I make it become real.

And I don't mind. I like to dream. That is what makes me, me!

Disaster!

Wow! I am just amazed... Yesterday semi-final 3/4 was in the Swedish competition for Eurovision Song Contest and all I can say is: Disaster!!!!!

Not a single good song. Not a tune that you remeber the day after. Nothing!
The only song that was okay... was Youngblood with "Youngblood". But the only thing that made that song good was the "boy" with the ripped shirt and a low waist on his pants. That was about it....

My neighbour said that this just sucked! And he is right. And to send a writer, Björn Ranelid, to the final... God!
I mean, he is just looking for attention. That's it! Nothing more. Just want the attention so that he wont be forgotten... Well, guess what. You already are!

But I have to see the shows just because of the hosts. You just have to love Gina Dirawi, Sarah Dawn Finer and Helena Bergström.
Gina and Sarah has been on the stage without Helena for the last two semi-finals but they are soooooo good. I do miss Helena, but she shows up in the acts between the votes, and does some excellent parodys of schlager-people and their opinions.
I just adore her!

It is a good thing that Christer Björkman is on his way away from Melodifestivalen. He hasn't done anything good for this show the past 10 years.... Lest just hope that his successor can do better to save this sinking ship!

Short-term memory loss....

I don't know if it is my age or if it is something else, but my memory is going straight to hell...

And I have noticed more and more the past years that something is wrong.

For example, I have to check every day, before I leave home, that the stove is turned of and the safety is on, even though I haven't used the stove. But I can't rember IF I have used it...
And ofte I have to go back indoors, just to check.

I forget stuff very fast. You can tell me one thing and then I just turn away my head, and then it is forgotten...

A few years ago I sat in the sofa with my boyfriend and asked him a question, just to turn away my head and then turn back to him and asked him the same question again!
He then told me that I just had asked him that, and I said: No!
Just because I couldn't remember....

And then also, playing Wordfued on my iPhone, that are supposed to be good for your brain, and I can logg on to a game without even remember what I have written. I don't recognize a single word....

That scares me!

So know I have bought TriBvit! Pills for the brains memory function and vitality.
Will try it for 2 months, and see what happens.
The pills contains Vitamins B6 and B12, and Folic Acid.

We'll see if it gets any better, otherwise it is a visit to the doctor that is next... I think we have alzheimers in the family... Let's just hope that my problem is a lack of vitamins or any other substans.

Saturday...

Saturday evening... Part 2 in the contest of Melodifestivalen... And why, why am I still looking at it when I know that part 2 nad 3 always are the crappiest parts...

I had one group that I like and that is Timotej, four girls with a ethnopop-folklore feeling in their music. And I just love it.

And they were the best in this part, and still the just didn't make it straight to the final. Hm...
Instead "super-cute" Ulrik Munther got all the way with a song that won't make it in Eurovision Song Contest.

And we were three friends looking at this event and we all agreed that everything basicly sucked. We can't even remember some of the songs since we were playing on our cellphones....

Only good thing about this part were the hosts. Just love Sarah, Gina and Helena! The best thing that has ever happened! :D

Filmtime!

Except from working with kids and youths in need, I am working with film. And I have a "festish" for Super 8mm film... I know, I am weird. :P

And I also like to work with medieval stuff. It is a part of my history and culture here on Gotland.

So therefore I will make a film on Super 8, and it will be a medieval drama. :D

Wanna know more?

http://igg.me/p/55924?a=335189

Nope!

I don't like this day, or the day before, and the day before that...
I just don't like what's going on and since I don't know how to deal with all that stuff, I just get stressed and f*cked up!

Working with kids and youths are the best thing that has ever happened to me. No doubt about that. But sometimes I just get scared. Scared of loosing my temper, scared of loosing my work, scared of loosing the trust.

I guess I take it all to personal, and that I just have to relax and realize that I am doing the right thing. That all...

The only good thing about today is that I got cleared to go to Åland on a big film camp for youths.
I will be their supporting adult during their sparetime and maybe involved in the camp activities as well, but that is not decided yet.

Nope, this day and week we can put to history, far far away.

Loreen - Euphoria!

And once again it is time for the national competion for this years Eurovision Song Contest.
And the first competion went okay.

I have to compliment the hostsess. They were great! I would say that they were the best one in a long time...

And then we have the songs... Well, I am not sure about my thoughts and feelings.
The best song went through, of course, and that was Loreen with the song "Euphoria". I was just breathtaking!
A powerful song, with a very powerful performance. And her intensity was just: Wow!!!!
And a big plus to her for having a dancer that wasn't skinny or extremly perfect in shape and looks. But he was damn good!

I do belive that Sweden can win ESC with "Euphoria". And I hope that the people of Sweden will continue to vote for her in the big final, here in Sweden!

Hey, winterland!

Finally! We have snow! :D

And still people have to complain... Why? We are living up north, it is wintertime, it is supposed to be cold and snowy!
I have to confess and say that I love it. And yes, it is really cold some time, but come on. Just dress up!
Put on you long underpants, a long sleeve t-shirt and warm socks. Don't care about the looks! There is no need to dress in a fancy jacket that can't keep to cold away, you will just get sick, and cranky....
Dress up! :D Take a walk in the fresh air! Enjoy the landscape. Then you can get inside and get your self a nice cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate.

Well, can't sit around here... Better go out and take a walk so I can deserve a cup of hot chocolate. :D

Life...

Life is what it is.

Got an eye infection, a bit exhausted from last weeks work, done a new test working with 3D that had to render for more than 17 hours.... (and I can't sleep while the computer is on, it's next to my bed)

But still, life is what it is, why complain? It could have been worse. Much worse... :)

http://www.youtube.com/embed/o45VZCXaIcs