Recreation!

I guess you can say the recreation is something needed all the time. But HOW can one an other get recreation in to your life, without spending a lot of money to spa's and so?
The easiest way, I guess, is just to go for a walk. But not maybe just around the corner in you neighbourhood. No, I think the best way is to take the bus or the car or the train and go to a place where you feel that you can just relax and enjoy life!
Then walk for an hour or two with your favourite music in the earplugs, maybe bring a camera or use your telephone to take pictures on things you find on the way...

Or maybe you can draw something, or write! That is also a way of recreation. Yes indeed!
When I was younger I wrote a lot. Both poems, scipts, stories and so. Even lyrics for cd's I never made... Wonder why... Guess I just wasn't good at making music.
But to write was a way for me to disapear for a little while. To clear out my thoughts, and that is needed for me to work as a human being!

Now, being in a depression I just have such a hard time finding back to the ways that made me happy. That made me recreate my soul! And everyday is a struggle, a fight for life. Or at least it feels that way.
Just walking around in a kind of mist not knowing what todays date is, or what I have to do or not to do. All I know is that I think I am aware of what season it is. I guess it is fall, since the leaves turned yellow, red and orange before they got brown and fell down to the ground, leaving the trees naked and exposed, waiting for winter to come. Just like me.
Wow, now I got all poetic... Maybe I still have it in me...

As an artist I guess you need to have somekind of darkness inside you. Something that you can rely on. Something that is more powerful and therefor somekind of saftey.

I will end this session with writing one of my poetic lyrics I wrote 9 years ago. Then I was 22 years old. If someone has music for this, please let me know!

Confusion, my body are in pain

Don't know what way to go

Or where to stop and stay

Lies, my soul are in pain

So many lies that has been told

So many answers put on hold

 

Time is passing by like grains of sand

My hands are open wide waiting for you

 

Will I ever be free from the things that holds me back

Will I ever be free from my past

My mind is full of answers

My heart is full of doubts

Will I ever see my self as something else but bad

 



Why is it so hard?

Why is it so hard to make a film these days? Or I should ask, why is it so freaking hard to get fundings?

Without money it is just so hard to manage to what I want to do, and then I have to ask for help. But does any one help: No!
And then I start to wonder why.... Is it that no one belive in project except for me? Is it that no one has any money? Is it that no one actually wants to fund projects or is it simply because it is I who am doing this....

I know people have money since people are supporting other projects.... I know people belive in the story I am making, since they have said so for a couple of years now....

Well, even if people can't afford as little as $10, people can atleast afford to spread a link. So please do. Just spread this link where ever you can: http://igg.me/p/255615?a=292023

Thank you...