Stressed!

I am getting more and more stressed, and today was one of the days that I thought that I just didn't want to leave my bed.
But I got up, took a walk in the beautiful sunlight and the just tried to rinse my head from everything.

I am so stressed about everything right now. My job, my film projects, my life, my being. And it sucks! Big time!!!!!

I am proud that I turned down one production that called me and asked if I wanted to be an extra. I know I can earn some money, but I just felt that I don't have time. I need to focus on my own projects and job.

And I am stressed about some of my work. Stressed that I will loose two of my youths I am working with due to that they are moving away and that we don't have that much contact any more. Stressed over not knowing what the summer or fall will bring.

One thing that really stresses me is my own film project: The Rain.
I just have a dream of making a film and just make something that I can stand for and that is good. And I do get a lot of help from everyone.
I mean, Film på Gotland (our local resource center) provides us with camera equipment, Filmgymnasiet Gotland provides me with facilities to film in. All my actors and crew a working for free and making the best of every day! And I am so blessed to have them around me.
What stresses my out is that I don't have enough money to make the film with. Money so we can build props and sets. Money so that I can buy food for my actors.
And also time... There is to little time. We are filming from time to time when every one is available, and that is a big puzzle to work with. It is hard to make a scheduel not knowing when people can film or not.

I am stressed out and sometimes I am starting to doubt on my self and my abilities...

I just want to life my life and do the thing that makes me happy. That's all!

It is over.... Our shooting period is over, and did we have fun or not!
There is something special about being on set and just see the progress of filming. Kind of sad when it is all over. Kind of hard to realize that all that chaos actually can be a film!
But so many has been so dedicated to this project and has done a wonderful job! We are so amazed of the love and joy we get from people.

We are aiming for the stars, Cannes International Film Festival 2013, and maybe we will reach all the way, maybe not. Only time will tell. But we are sure that our film are good enough for Cannes!

I am just thrilled that this might be my comeback as a cinematographer and director. And if so, I feel confident that I will have much more to do in the future. :)

Film time again!

Oh yes!

Now I have this really weird kamikazee project going on....!
A few years ago I want to make a film called The Rain. But we never got fundings to make that film. Boring as hell....!

So now we have decide to make that film anyway, but with very little money. And not as high quality as we first wanted.
No we will make the film just because we want to and to make a film that we can stand for.

Wanna know more or even help out?????

Please just click here below and spread the word! :D

This weekend...

Well, as promised Iwill now give you an update of what has happened this weekend.

It all started this friday with a movie shoot. I was an actor for Filmgymnasiet på Gotland in one of their commercials, for the school!

We shot the commercial at Saint Marys Church in Visby, and the set up was a wedding that ended with them showing it was just a film set. Smart idea, I have to say.
And I played the groom. :)

Then, on the saturday, it was time for the big event: WisbyMaskeraden! The biggest event of the year, next to Medeltidsveckan of course, when you get the chance to dress up and just live out your dream as a costume nerd. :)
This years theme was Harry Potter vs. Merlin. And I was there with Gotlands MusikalKompani and we made a 30 minute long show as Hogwarts students. And I also played Severus Snape in the begining of the show. Then I changed to a school student , belonging to Rawenclaw.

And to play Severus Snape, wich I think is the coolest character played by one of the best actors, Alan Rickman, was a privilege. To find the small secrets that unlocks Snape and make him alive, since he is both evil and good.

Me as Severus Snape

 

And I had a costume, special made for me, ordered on eBay, just for this occasion. And it was worth it! It was so worth it! And the show went so well and we had a lot of fun!

Final touch-ups on the make-up before showtime!

 

Now it is time to rest for a few days, then on thursday we start our rehearsals for "Sweeny Todd", the big musical we will put up in April! :)

 

A very tired actor after the show at WisbyMaskeraden.

 

Almost all costumes lined up for the weekends performances.

Vulnerable.

Okay, so last night we had a huge power failure here on Gotland. The whole island went black.
Nothing to make a big fuzz about if it just wasn't for the fact the something went wrong with our two "lifelines" that is between us and the main land.

That's the fact! Gotland are hooked up with two cables to the main land, providing us with electricity and if something goes wrong we are in a blackout. Just as last night.

All of a sudden the phone lines went dead, some of the cellphone operators went down, internet (of course) and this total pitch blackness.
And I realize who vulnerable we are. There was no way to get any information of what happened, since we couldn't go online and get the information. And I had no access to a battery driven radio where some information came out.

I had to call friends on the main land to ask them if they could find any information.

And then I just started to think, what if the power company couldn't fix the problem. They have a back up power station here on Gotland, but that wont last forever. What if we actually were cut of from the main land and had to take care of our selves.

I guess it wouldn't be a problem, since we all are taking care of each other. But the first period it would be hard, just to collaborate all the main functions and so...

I guess it will never happen, but still! The thought just struck me. We are so vulnerable, hooked up by two power cords, to the main land!
They have always had us in their grip...