Believe!

Sometimes I just have to trust that God carries me. When it gets too rough, too heavy, too far, I know I can rely on God.
And when things just strikes me, without any warning, and I feel how I loose my grip and fall down, helpless, I just have to have faith in God and pray that he will catch me before I hit the ground.

 I have no idea that life would struck me this hard, and reality just punched me in my stomach so I lost my way of breathing. Tears falling down my cheeks. This tremendous pain and fear. And all I could think of was to first talk to someone, and then just find a way to talk to the Lord.
Read a Bible verse, pray, just close my eyes and for a moment let him do his healing work in me.

I do believe. I believe in Him and I am glad that I do.

So Lord, please hear my prayer. I pray that you will come and heal the wounds that was given me and those amongst me tonight. Please meet us and let us lay down beside you and rest within your shelter.
I pray for my friends and that you will heal their souls. Save them from the dark things that are happening. I pray that You will come before us and just let us now you care and want to help us.
I pray in Your name, Jesus Christ! Amen!

Prometheus - The Movie

Went with some friends last night to see Prometheus at the cinema. And I have to confess I got disappointed. It was not what I had expected it to be. One of my very good friends, who knows I am a chicken when it comes to scary films, told me to bring a pillow to hide in if it got to scary... Well, let's just say I didn't need a pillow at all. At three times it go a bit tensed and I raised a hand to cover my ears, but also, the sound was to freaking loud in the cinema. Prometheus... It was a bit cool, nice effects and so, but the story. Come on! It felt like it had no story. The came, they saw and then you just felt: What?! I wanted more. I actually wanted to be scared. I just left the cinema with a big question-mark printed in my forehead. Also to see your swedish actress Noomi Rapace in the leading role was disappointing. Really... I mean, you could hear she was from Sweden when she talked, even though she had go a lot of training. The only actor in the film that made a really good work was Charlize Theron. Excellent work and a very good performance. Can I recomend Prometheus? No, it was not worth spending 120:- SEK to see a film in 3D, that would be just as good as in 2D, maybe even better. And the story just makes this film worth to see when it comes out on Blu-ray and DVD. Sorry Ridley and Noomi... I know you can do better than this.

World Wide Web premier!

And finally, here it is! Our short film, Ont Blod, that we made almost 2 years ago. It is not subtitled yet, but it will be when time is. I hope you will like this film where I play the main part, and is the director, producer and scriptwriter.

Here is our bloopers-reel from the horror film "Ont Blod" (Evil Blood). We will upload the main film on youtube during the weekend! :)

To change an attitude!

Was preforming at a school this week, ford kids aged 6-10, together with a friend. We have our group called "Flamma & Fjolla" (The Flame & The Queer) and preforme with fire, dance and jokes. My character, The Queer, always wears a Pride-hat, a skirt and make-up, and for this year also a wig, since we started the whole show by dancing to Loreen's "Euphoria" (the best song ever in Eurovision Song Contest). While dressing up we worked a lot with the make-up to make The Queer look as good as possible without without making too much out if it. Because The Queer's philosphy is to be whom ever you are and dress up how ever you want to. Just as long as you are comfortable with your self and can stand up for what you are doing. He is kind of sissy acting, but not in a bad way. He just likes to have fun! And we never tells that he is gay, but the kids nows it anyway, I guess, since he is dancing and says he is from the land of fabulous, wearing lipstick, make-up and a cute turquoise dance-skirt. And in the beginning I was wearing this wig, that made me look pretty good by the way, and the funny thing was when we entered the school yard with all the kids running around and we were fully dressed and in make-up, the first question from almost all the kids were: Who is SHE?, pointing at me. And I didn't wear any fake boobs more special attributes then just make-up, the wig and the little skirt. All ready there we had reached the effect we wanted, to neutralize the gender and sexuality. Then, in the dance, The Queer does such a "bad" preformance that The Flame takes of his wig, and all of a sudden he puts on a pride-hat! Just to show that he is queer and that the colours stands for pride, happiness and fun! The kids just loved the show, as usual, and loves The Flame & The Queer. Not to mention the teachers at the school. Even some parents enjoyed what we were doing and none didn't mind that we have that theme on the show! For me and my friend, who both are a part of the HBTQ-society, it is important that we can learn the kids that there is nothing wring with being yourself, as long as you stand up for whom you are and that you don't preach about it. They need to build their own opinion, but we think that we are able to change their attitude a little just by being our self on stage, and show them that there is nothing wrong for a guy to wear make-up and/or a wig, if he wants to. We all have a responsebility towards our kids and youths to make sure that they belive in them self and teach them about rights and wrongs. And I know that not everybody agrees with me that teaching kids that homosexuality is right, is a good thing, because who knows what ideas they might get from that! They might become gay them self! Well, let them! What's the big deal? As long as they are happy and proud of whom they are, just as The Flame & The Queer! And as long as we are porud of them! The even asked when they will meet us again... :)

Normativity.

Were at a conference last day that was about equality. How we all can get more equal in life, and also over the sexualities, genders, age, religion and so on. Very interesting when in between the sets while talking to some of the participants about being queer in todays society. Just for a start that queer was a new expression for them. It all started with a scene that showed a man and a woman having a child, and the fathers concern before the actual birth. He wanted to be involved and his wife said of course. And then, at the hospital, there was this nurse who just ignored him in one way or an other. That just got me upset, to start with. But after the scene I talked to the actors and then they asked me if I had any kids, and I said: No, and I never will. Then one of the actors at once thought that I was gay! Not that I just wasn't up to be a father or had any medical conditions or so. No, he just thought I was gay... That was kind of wierd to hear, but I guess we all have our way of thinking, and thank God for that! Then I just had to explain that I was queer, and of course the question came up: What do you mean by "Queer"? I eplained to them that I didn't want to put a title on my sexuality, that I fall in love with a personality rather then the sex. That is just something that I don't care about. And then they said that I ment I was bisexual, but no! Bisexuality is still a way to put a title on things, that you are both in to sex with the same and opposite gender as your self. That you might just fall in love with girls but can have sex with men. They thought about it for a while and it seemed that they understood what I ment. But to live as a HBTQ-person in todays society is still hard. We still fight against a lot of normativites. People are ment to be heterosexual. That's just the way life is... Why?! I am who I am and I am darn proud of my self! I will never care if people think that I am weird! I want to be weird! That's who I am. Never ever try to be some one else just because they say so.

Working...

Sorry for not writing in a while... I have been working, like never before. Right now I am in charge of three productions: One that is on the editing table, one that we are shooting right now and one that will be shot in May... And on top of that I am going to Åland for work during next week, and then I also have my regular work. But I enjoy life so much!

Here is a picture from the production that we are shooting right now. It is a short film called "Ofsi - The svaiour of the forest." and will be a film for children about a troll that one day finds some leeking oil drums just outside there nest and does what he can to save the forest. On the picture you can see me working as a First Assistant Director and then Nicklas Nordborg as Aldru, Ofsis father. Also wanted to provide you with some links where you can find out more about my work: www.facebook.com/KarinsSaga www.twitter.com/ProdGotland www.produktionsplatsgotland.se Well, back to work and I'll try to be better at updating my blog. Love ya all!