What is age? A number, the way you feel, a way for people to let them know if you are in their league or not?
I am 31. I feel like 70 in my body, looks like somewhere between 30-40 and in my mind I am pending between 12-14 and 31. And turning 30 wasn't a big deal for me if I just stop and think about it for a while... The only crises I had that day was that everyone was on to you and reminding you and teasing you for getting 30.... That broke me down. Not the fact that I was turning 30. For me it is just a number.
It is the way you feel inside and the way you are living that decide your mental age, and I consider the mental age to be much more closer to whom you are. And that is hard when you are pending between a lot of ages.
Physically I am feeling really old, but that is most due to the fact that I haven't taken care of my body. I am not a guy that workout, even though I am not smoking or drinking like hell. But you need your workout. So I am having constantly pain in my body since I am to weak.
And my eyes.... Oh, just a few years ago I just used my glasses when needed... Now I have to have them on me every day... All the time!!!! And if I am not wearing them, I have to raise the brightness on my MacBook just to be able to see what I am reading and writing.
But in my mind, I am sometimes just 12-14 again. Having fun. Enjoying life. Even though you won't see me climbing in a tree any more... (I am afraid of heights, that's my excuse) But working with kids you have to have an open mind. You have to remember what it was to be in that age, so you can let them be kids as well. Not demanding to much of them. Not asking them to be adults until it is time.
So what is age.... Age is like a fine wine, it's just getting better and better for every year storing it, or it could be like milk... Sour as hell. It is all up to us!
söndag 23 december 2012
onsdag 19 december 2012
A dream...!
I have a dream. Actually it is more like to dreams but combined in one: I want to move to Alaska and/or Maine.
Why? That I just don't know. I have always had a thing for Maine. Just read about it and seen it on film, and it just seems so beautiful. I guess all the states close to the Canadian border is what I am looking for.
And then Alaska... People just raise there eyebrows at me when I say I wanna move to Alaska. "It is so cold." "It is so isolated." And so an.
I don't mind the cold. I don't mind the isolation. I don't mind to live in a small society with very few people around me.
And the environment is just awsome! But then again, I have never been there.
Someday I will go there. Both to Maine and to Alaska. It is a dream. It is something I just have to do.
And to be able to make films and take wonderful photos.
Someday.... I have a dream....
Why? That I just don't know. I have always had a thing for Maine. Just read about it and seen it on film, and it just seems so beautiful. I guess all the states close to the Canadian border is what I am looking for.
And then Alaska... People just raise there eyebrows at me when I say I wanna move to Alaska. "It is so cold." "It is so isolated." And so an.
I don't mind the cold. I don't mind the isolation. I don't mind to live in a small society with very few people around me.
And the environment is just awsome! But then again, I have never been there.
Someday I will go there. Both to Maine and to Alaska. It is a dream. It is something I just have to do.
And to be able to make films and take wonderful photos.
Someday.... I have a dream....
onsdag 5 december 2012
Long time for someting special!
August 11th I was with my filmcrew on location at Vikingabyn in Tofta to shoot a pilot sequence for my feature film "Karins Saga", a medieval drama about a mayors daugther who has to choose between her carieer or her heart.
We started our shooting at 6 p.m. and had around 20-30 extras, 6 actors and a small crew of 10 people, running around in the middle of the night and just had fun together.
Then we hoped it would be done by October with all the editing and so. And then we changed us until November. And now, finally, December 5th, we are done!!!!
We can finally present the pilot for everyone.
Incredible how long it would take us to finish this, and now I can only hope that people will enjoy what they are seeing, and will support us in the future.
I will write more about the project later but can already follow us a Karins Saga official page
Hope you will like what you are seeing!
Karins Saga - The pilot
We started our shooting at 6 p.m. and had around 20-30 extras, 6 actors and a small crew of 10 people, running around in the middle of the night and just had fun together.
Then we hoped it would be done by October with all the editing and so. And then we changed us until November. And now, finally, December 5th, we are done!!!!
We can finally present the pilot for everyone.
Incredible how long it would take us to finish this, and now I can only hope that people will enjoy what they are seeing, and will support us in the future.
I will write more about the project later but can already follow us a Karins Saga official page
Hope you will like what you are seeing!
Karins Saga - The pilot
onsdag 28 november 2012
Recreation!
I guess you can say the recreation is something needed all the time. But HOW can one an other get recreation in to your life, without spending a lot of money to spa's and so?
The easiest way, I guess, is just to go for a walk. But not maybe just around the corner in you neighbourhood. No, I think the best way is to take the bus or the car or the train and go to a place where you feel that you can just relax and enjoy life!
Then walk for an hour or two with your favourite music in the earplugs, maybe bring a camera or use your telephone to take pictures on things you find on the way...
Or maybe you can draw something, or write! That is also a way of recreation. Yes indeed!
When I was younger I wrote a lot. Both poems, scipts, stories and so. Even lyrics for cd's I never made... Wonder why... Guess I just wasn't good at making music.
But to write was a way for me to disapear for a little while. To clear out my thoughts, and that is needed for me to work as a human being!
Now, being in a depression I just have such a hard time finding back to the ways that made me happy. That made me recreate my soul! And everyday is a struggle, a fight for life. Or at least it feels that way.
Just walking around in a kind of mist not knowing what todays date is, or what I have to do or not to do. All I know is that I think I am aware of what season it is. I guess it is fall, since the leaves turned yellow, red and orange before they got brown and fell down to the ground, leaving the trees naked and exposed, waiting for winter to come. Just like me.
Wow, now I got all poetic... Maybe I still have it in me...
As an artist I guess you need to have somekind of darkness inside you. Something that you can rely on. Something that is more powerful and therefor somekind of saftey.
I will end this session with writing one of my poetic lyrics I wrote 9 years ago. Then I was 22 years old. If someone has music for this, please let me know!
The easiest way, I guess, is just to go for a walk. But not maybe just around the corner in you neighbourhood. No, I think the best way is to take the bus or the car or the train and go to a place where you feel that you can just relax and enjoy life!
Then walk for an hour or two with your favourite music in the earplugs, maybe bring a camera or use your telephone to take pictures on things you find on the way...
Or maybe you can draw something, or write! That is also a way of recreation. Yes indeed!
When I was younger I wrote a lot. Both poems, scipts, stories and so. Even lyrics for cd's I never made... Wonder why... Guess I just wasn't good at making music.
But to write was a way for me to disapear for a little while. To clear out my thoughts, and that is needed for me to work as a human being!
Now, being in a depression I just have such a hard time finding back to the ways that made me happy. That made me recreate my soul! And everyday is a struggle, a fight for life. Or at least it feels that way.
Just walking around in a kind of mist not knowing what todays date is, or what I have to do or not to do. All I know is that I think I am aware of what season it is. I guess it is fall, since the leaves turned yellow, red and orange before they got brown and fell down to the ground, leaving the trees naked and exposed, waiting for winter to come. Just like me.
Wow, now I got all poetic... Maybe I still have it in me...
As an artist I guess you need to have somekind of darkness inside you. Something that you can rely on. Something that is more powerful and therefor somekind of saftey.
I will end this session with writing one of my poetic lyrics I wrote 9 years ago. Then I was 22 years old. If someone has music for this, please let me know!
Confusion, my body are in pain
Don't know what way to go
Or where to stop and stay
Lies, my soul are in pain
So many lies that has been told
So many answers put on hold
Time is passing by like grains of sand
My hands are open wide waiting for you
Will I ever be free from the things that holds me back
Will I ever be free from my past
My mind is full of answers
My heart is full of doubts
Will I ever see my self as something else but bad
söndag 11 november 2012
Why is it so hard?
Why is it so hard to make a film these days? Or I should ask, why is it so freaking hard to get fundings?
Without money it is just so hard to manage to what I want to do, and then I have to ask for help. But does any one help: No!
And then I start to wonder why.... Is it that no one belive in project except for me? Is it that no one has any money? Is it that no one actually wants to fund projects or is it simply because it is I who am doing this....
I know people have money since people are supporting other projects.... I know people belive in the story I am making, since they have said so for a couple of years now....
Well, even if people can't afford as little as $10, people can atleast afford to spread a link. So please do. Just spread this link where ever you can: http://igg.me/p/255615?a=292023
Thank you...
Without money it is just so hard to manage to what I want to do, and then I have to ask for help. But does any one help: No!
And then I start to wonder why.... Is it that no one belive in project except for me? Is it that no one has any money? Is it that no one actually wants to fund projects or is it simply because it is I who am doing this....
I know people have money since people are supporting other projects.... I know people belive in the story I am making, since they have said so for a couple of years now....
Well, even if people can't afford as little as $10, people can atleast afford to spread a link. So please do. Just spread this link where ever you can: http://igg.me/p/255615?a=292023
Thank you...
tisdag 16 oktober 2012
Film time again!
Oh yes!
Now I have this really weird kamikazee project going on....!
A few years ago I want to make a film called The Rain. But we never got fundings to make that film. Boring as hell....!
So now we have decide to make that film anyway, but with very little money. And not as high quality as we first wanted.
No we will make the film just because we want to and to make a film that we can stand for.
Wanna know more or even help out?????
Please just click here below and spread the word! :D
Now I have this really weird kamikazee project going on....!
A few years ago I want to make a film called The Rain. But we never got fundings to make that film. Boring as hell....!
So now we have decide to make that film anyway, but with very little money. And not as high quality as we first wanted.
No we will make the film just because we want to and to make a film that we can stand for.
Wanna know more or even help out?????
Please just click here below and spread the word! :D
söndag 14 oktober 2012
This weekend...
Well, as promised Iwill now give you an update of what has happened this weekend.
It all started this friday with a movie shoot. I was an actor for Filmgymnasiet på Gotland in one of their commercials, for the school!
We shot the commercial at Saint Marys Church in Visby, and the set up was a wedding that ended with them showing it was just a film set. Smart idea, I have to say.
And I played the groom. :)
Then, on the saturday, it was time for the big event: WisbyMaskeraden! The biggest event of the year, next to Medeltidsveckan of course, when you get the chance to dress up and just live out your dream as a costume nerd. :)
This years theme was Harry Potter vs. Merlin. And I was there with Gotlands MusikalKompani and we made a 30 minute long show as Hogwarts students. And I also played Severus Snape in the begining of the show. Then I changed to a school student , belonging to Rawenclaw.
And to play Severus Snape, wich I think is the coolest character played by one of the best actors, Alan Rickman, was a privilege. To find the small secrets that unlocks Snape and make him alive, since he is both evil and good.
And I had a costume, special made for me, ordered on eBay, just for this occasion. And it was worth it! It was so worth it! And the show went so well and we had a lot of fun!
Now it is time to rest for a few days, then on thursday we start our rehearsals for "Sweeny Todd", the big musical we will put up in April! :)
It all started this friday with a movie shoot. I was an actor for Filmgymnasiet på Gotland in one of their commercials, for the school!
And I played the groom. :)
Then, on the saturday, it was time for the big event: WisbyMaskeraden! The biggest event of the year, next to Medeltidsveckan of course, when you get the chance to dress up and just live out your dream as a costume nerd. :)
This years theme was Harry Potter vs. Merlin. And I was there with Gotlands MusikalKompani and we made a 30 minute long show as Hogwarts students. And I also played Severus Snape in the begining of the show. Then I changed to a school student , belonging to Rawenclaw.
And to play Severus Snape, wich I think is the coolest character played by one of the best actors, Alan Rickman, was a privilege. To find the small secrets that unlocks Snape and make him alive, since he is both evil and good.
Me as Severus Snape
Final touch-ups on the make-up before showtime!
A very tired actor after the show at WisbyMaskeraden.
Almost all costumes lined up for the weekends performances.
fredag 12 oktober 2012
What a weekend!
Last night we had a 5 hours rehearsal and tonight we will have a 1 1/2 hour of rehearsal on site, and then tomorrow at 18 we start! And by "we" I mean Gotlands MusikalKompani!
Preparations are being made, bot costume, set dressing and performance.
I am really excited about this! I will play Severus Snape and zap off a kid from a suitcase, and confront some kids in the hallways. God, I will love tomorrow! :)
And my costume is perfect. Can't show it to you really yet, because there is a big surprise for some people tomorrow, but it will be awsome!
Today though I am getting married! Not for real! It is for a commercial for a film school. Going to be rather fun I guess. The costume is already picked and I just need to shave an polish my shoes, then I am ready for action!
The acting has really got going again after so many years in the hidden. I haven't done that much more than my own short films, but now I am enjoying life again!
Well, off to the shower and the shaving. Promise I will upload some pics from both today and tomorrow!
Have a great weekend you all!
torsdag 11 oktober 2012
To love without being loved.
If a guy walks up to a girl and ask her out to a date, no one will rise their eyebrows. That is just common in daily life.
If a girl walks up to a guy and asks him out on a date, it is still the same.
If a girl walks up to a girl and ask her out on a date, maybe a few will rise their eyebrows, because it is not that common, but still, girls can be very good friends, so it is still okay.
But if a guy walks up to an other guy and asks him out on a date, a lot of people will look at them with disgust, fear, think they are weird and so on. Because that is still not okay, unless you are at a gay bar or so.
Just bare in mind that for those guys and girls who walks up to a person of the same sex there is a tremendous courage within them for taking that step. We never know if the guy or girl we walk up to is straight or gay. We don't know if we would be laughed at, spit at or even beaten down. Unless we are at a gay bar....
I wrote on my facebook a few weeks ago: Why is it that all the cute guys are either straight, taken or live too far away...?
One of the replies were: I think the opposite, why is all the good looking men gay...?
My biggest issue here is that I tend to fall in love with those who are straight or unavailable. I fall in love with those who people definitely will rise their eyebrows at. That is the hardest thing about love...
I am deeply in love with a guy that I have loved for years now. And I have always known that he doesn't love me in that way, but we have had an understanding for each other. He has let me loved him and I have loved him in a way that hasn't shown.
Now he has shown more an more that he doesn't want me to love him anymore. Our understanding is over. The most heartbreaking thing ever, because I can't even show how sad I am over loosing him. That's how it is to love some one that you know never will love you back.
If a girl walks up to a guy and asks him out on a date, it is still the same.
If a girl walks up to a girl and ask her out on a date, maybe a few will rise their eyebrows, because it is not that common, but still, girls can be very good friends, so it is still okay.
But if a guy walks up to an other guy and asks him out on a date, a lot of people will look at them with disgust, fear, think they are weird and so on. Because that is still not okay, unless you are at a gay bar or so.
Just bare in mind that for those guys and girls who walks up to a person of the same sex there is a tremendous courage within them for taking that step. We never know if the guy or girl we walk up to is straight or gay. We don't know if we would be laughed at, spit at or even beaten down. Unless we are at a gay bar....
I wrote on my facebook a few weeks ago: Why is it that all the cute guys are either straight, taken or live too far away...?
One of the replies were: I think the opposite, why is all the good looking men gay...?
My biggest issue here is that I tend to fall in love with those who are straight or unavailable. I fall in love with those who people definitely will rise their eyebrows at. That is the hardest thing about love...
I am deeply in love with a guy that I have loved for years now. And I have always known that he doesn't love me in that way, but we have had an understanding for each other. He has let me loved him and I have loved him in a way that hasn't shown.
Now he has shown more an more that he doesn't want me to love him anymore. Our understanding is over. The most heartbreaking thing ever, because I can't even show how sad I am over loosing him. That's how it is to love some one that you know never will love you back.
lördag 6 oktober 2012
An other short film...
My life is a lot about making film. That is what I love almost the most. And now it is time to release an other short film that I made 4 years ago.
This time is is a really strong drama about three siblings woring up alone in the family home. And they had a really bad start in life that has made them who they are today.
One day a man knocks on their door and presents him as their older brother. He is there to know more about his family and to find his way back home....
This was one of the hardest short films I have ever made. The script was really challenging to write and to direct, just because it is so real! I wanted this film to show what is behind the headlines in the news paper when you read about people that his been hurt over a period of time.
A lot of the inspiration came from Dave Pelzer's book "A child called 'It'", who is one of the worst stories I have ever read, but it moved me so much.
And I started to realize what was behind all these headlines we read from time to time.
As a director it was very tough to direct two of your best friends in an incest scene, almost a rape. Well, it was a rape, just not one of those wich were physical destructive and happens out in the streets...
That scene almost broke me as a person, but it became so good that it lifted the film totaly!
Have a look at it and please feel free to leave a comment about it. We know we are not the best filmmakers in the world, but this time it was all about the story.
This time is is a really strong drama about three siblings woring up alone in the family home. And they had a really bad start in life that has made them who they are today.
One day a man knocks on their door and presents him as their older brother. He is there to know more about his family and to find his way back home....
This was one of the hardest short films I have ever made. The script was really challenging to write and to direct, just because it is so real! I wanted this film to show what is behind the headlines in the news paper when you read about people that his been hurt over a period of time.
A lot of the inspiration came from Dave Pelzer's book "A child called 'It'", who is one of the worst stories I have ever read, but it moved me so much.
And I started to realize what was behind all these headlines we read from time to time.
As a director it was very tough to direct two of your best friends in an incest scene, almost a rape. Well, it was a rape, just not one of those wich were physical destructive and happens out in the streets...
That scene almost broke me as a person, but it became so good that it lifted the film totaly!
Have a look at it and please feel free to leave a comment about it. We know we are not the best filmmakers in the world, but this time it was all about the story.
lördag 22 september 2012
Hard to understand?
Why do people have a hard time to understand that I am not interested in having a partner in my life...?
Some seem almost offended when I say that I want to live alone for the rest of my life.
I guess I have some explaining to do....
As an LGBT-person you think you just have to come out once... But that is not true. The most important step to take is to come out for you self. To be able to say: This is who I am and I stand up for it!
If you reach that step, congratulations, you have now come out your very first time! But then think about it. Every time you meet a new person, at work, in school, at friends etc., and you tell them that you are an LGBT-person, you come out again. And again, and again.... Every time you tell it to some one who doesn't know YOU are gay or so, you are coming out!
And I am getting tired of coming out each and every day... Really! I wish I were straight, 'cause then I don't need to come out every time. I can just stand and check out the girls and people wouldn't even care.
But life changes. Oh yes indeed! It changes, some times for the better and some times for the worse.
I change! I have gone from Bisexual to Gay to Queer! I have even been straight, I think... I don't remember.
Recently, well the past 5 years, I have noticed a change within me that has been hard to accept. Hard to realize that this is me! A new feeling that I haven't had before and a feeling that scared me. Scared me bad.
I didn't want to think and feel like that, but I did and I still do! There is a new feeling, maybe a sexuality or maybe just a mind-ghost that wants to disturb me a lot!
But I guess I have to come out for my self again, and then maybe for others. Okay, I have already come out for my self. And for three of my very best friends... But that is enough for now.
I don't want a partner in life because I am not safe with my self. I don't want a partner since I need to be alone and I am afraid I will hurt my partner so bad.... And those feelings and thoughts I don't want to live with.
I don't have time for a partner in my life. I work to much and work with things that needs space! So when I get home from work I just need my privacy, my private sphere.
That is just me.
Don't I love? I do love. Oh I am in love with a few that I love unconditionally. I just love them more than life it self. And all I want to do is to hold them, kiss them, be there for them, see them.
Do they love me back? No! Not like that. And they never will.
But I know what it feels like to fall in love, and to have those thoughts when you just think about him or her every waken second. To jump when you get a message from he/she. To smile stupidly just by getting a thought.... I know...
But I also know how it feels to see that there can never be a future with us together. To know that my feeling will never get a response.
So is it so hard to understand that I don't want a partner? That I am afraid of hurting he or she? That I still don't know who I am, well I do know who I am but that can't be combined with a partner.... Not now...
Some seem almost offended when I say that I want to live alone for the rest of my life.
I guess I have some explaining to do....
As an LGBT-person you think you just have to come out once... But that is not true. The most important step to take is to come out for you self. To be able to say: This is who I am and I stand up for it!
If you reach that step, congratulations, you have now come out your very first time! But then think about it. Every time you meet a new person, at work, in school, at friends etc., and you tell them that you are an LGBT-person, you come out again. And again, and again.... Every time you tell it to some one who doesn't know YOU are gay or so, you are coming out!
And I am getting tired of coming out each and every day... Really! I wish I were straight, 'cause then I don't need to come out every time. I can just stand and check out the girls and people wouldn't even care.
But life changes. Oh yes indeed! It changes, some times for the better and some times for the worse.
I change! I have gone from Bisexual to Gay to Queer! I have even been straight, I think... I don't remember.
Recently, well the past 5 years, I have noticed a change within me that has been hard to accept. Hard to realize that this is me! A new feeling that I haven't had before and a feeling that scared me. Scared me bad.
I didn't want to think and feel like that, but I did and I still do! There is a new feeling, maybe a sexuality or maybe just a mind-ghost that wants to disturb me a lot!
But I guess I have to come out for my self again, and then maybe for others. Okay, I have already come out for my self. And for three of my very best friends... But that is enough for now.
I don't want a partner in life because I am not safe with my self. I don't want a partner since I need to be alone and I am afraid I will hurt my partner so bad.... And those feelings and thoughts I don't want to live with.
I don't have time for a partner in my life. I work to much and work with things that needs space! So when I get home from work I just need my privacy, my private sphere.
That is just me.
Don't I love? I do love. Oh I am in love with a few that I love unconditionally. I just love them more than life it self. And all I want to do is to hold them, kiss them, be there for them, see them.
Do they love me back? No! Not like that. And they never will.
But I know what it feels like to fall in love, and to have those thoughts when you just think about him or her every waken second. To jump when you get a message from he/she. To smile stupidly just by getting a thought.... I know...
But I also know how it feels to see that there can never be a future with us together. To know that my feeling will never get a response.
So is it so hard to understand that I don't want a partner? That I am afraid of hurting he or she? That I still don't know who I am, well I do know who I am but that can't be combined with a partner.... Not now...
lördag 15 september 2012
We won!
I am just so incredible happy right now!
Last night we won a regional film contest with our film "Strandfynd". And we are so freaking happy about that!
Strandfynd was a film made during 19 hours in a contest where you get 7 criteria that you had to have in the film.
We were very nervous, specially I, during the evening and we knew we wouldn't be safe until the had revealed the winners, since there was a jury that decided, and not the audience.
And we got on first place!!!!!! :)
The motivation from the jury was: "With an evocative and stylish storytelling engages the film and presents the viewer with a dark interpretation of this year's theme. The different conditions for the competition passes unnoticed because they are so well integrated into the story. The message is ambiguous and lets the spectator to self reflect on concepts that abuse over generations and human destinies."
Now we will go to Stockholm to participate in the big final, that takes place the 29th of September! We just hope that we will win there, and promise to represent Gotland!
But just the fact that the first time ever we are participating in a film contest we are winning, that was so important for me. Now I know I am good at what I am doing and will continue to work with film. I needed this confirmation so badly.
And here is our winning film. Please share it to every one you know!
Last night we won a regional film contest with our film "Strandfynd". And we are so freaking happy about that!
Strandfynd was a film made during 19 hours in a contest where you get 7 criteria that you had to have in the film.
We were very nervous, specially I, during the evening and we knew we wouldn't be safe until the had revealed the winners, since there was a jury that decided, and not the audience.
And we got on first place!!!!!! :)
The motivation from the jury was: "With an evocative and stylish storytelling engages the film and presents the viewer with a dark interpretation of this year's theme. The different conditions for the competition passes unnoticed because they are so well integrated into the story. The message is ambiguous and lets the spectator to self reflect on concepts that abuse over generations and human destinies."
Now we will go to Stockholm to participate in the big final, that takes place the 29th of September! We just hope that we will win there, and promise to represent Gotland!
But just the fact that the first time ever we are participating in a film contest we are winning, that was so important for me. Now I know I am good at what I am doing and will continue to work with film. I needed this confirmation so badly.
And here is our winning film. Please share it to every one you know!
tisdag 11 september 2012
I guess...
Well, sometimes you just need a moment of your own. Even though you love have stuff going on around you and you "need" like a thousand thing to do.
Sometimes it is just better to stop for a while and just step outside the box, look inside and see what you have and what you can waste.
I just feel lonely and sad and depressed, and I can't find my way to get over stuff.
I am afraid, lost, sad, happy, driven, scared... I am a lot, but not complete. Can that be it? That I am not complete? And then, what makes me complete?
Is it to be loved by those I love more than life it self? Is it to win the lottery and be rich forever? Is it to find a house on the country side and settle down?
I don't know! All I know is that I have so much stuff inside that I even can't get out of me.... People would hate me. They would look down on me. Think I am a jerk or worse...
All I ever have been aiming for is to be my self, no matter what, and to be a role model. All I have ever wanted is to make sure people are happy... Have I forgotten my self?
Have I forgotten my self in this world where everything has to be so perfect? Well, f*ck perfect! I am who I am, and I will never change!
Sometimes it is just better to stop for a while and just step outside the box, look inside and see what you have and what you can waste.
I just feel lonely and sad and depressed, and I can't find my way to get over stuff.
I am afraid, lost, sad, happy, driven, scared... I am a lot, but not complete. Can that be it? That I am not complete? And then, what makes me complete?
Is it to be loved by those I love more than life it self? Is it to win the lottery and be rich forever? Is it to find a house on the country side and settle down?
I don't know! All I know is that I have so much stuff inside that I even can't get out of me.... People would hate me. They would look down on me. Think I am a jerk or worse...
All I ever have been aiming for is to be my self, no matter what, and to be a role model. All I have ever wanted is to make sure people are happy... Have I forgotten my self?
Have I forgotten my self in this world where everything has to be so perfect? Well, f*ck perfect! I am who I am, and I will never change!
torsdag 6 september 2012
Vulnerable.
Okay, so last night we had a huge power failure here on Gotland. The whole island went black.
Nothing to make a big fuzz about if it just wasn't for the fact the something went wrong with our two "lifelines" that is between us and the main land.
That's the fact! Gotland are hooked up with two cables to the main land, providing us with electricity and if something goes wrong we are in a blackout. Just as last night.
All of a sudden the phone lines went dead, some of the cellphone operators went down, internet (of course) and this total pitch blackness.
And I realize who vulnerable we are. There was no way to get any information of what happened, since we couldn't go online and get the information. And I had no access to a battery driven radio where some information came out.
I had to call friends on the main land to ask them if they could find any information.
And then I just started to think, what if the power company couldn't fix the problem. They have a back up power station here on Gotland, but that wont last forever. What if we actually were cut of from the main land and had to take care of our selves.
I guess it wouldn't be a problem, since we all are taking care of each other. But the first period it would be hard, just to collaborate all the main functions and so...
I guess it will never happen, but still! The thought just struck me. We are so vulnerable, hooked up by two power cords, to the main land!
They have always had us in their grip...
Nothing to make a big fuzz about if it just wasn't for the fact the something went wrong with our two "lifelines" that is between us and the main land.
That's the fact! Gotland are hooked up with two cables to the main land, providing us with electricity and if something goes wrong we are in a blackout. Just as last night.
All of a sudden the phone lines went dead, some of the cellphone operators went down, internet (of course) and this total pitch blackness.
And I realize who vulnerable we are. There was no way to get any information of what happened, since we couldn't go online and get the information. And I had no access to a battery driven radio where some information came out.
I had to call friends on the main land to ask them if they could find any information.
And then I just started to think, what if the power company couldn't fix the problem. They have a back up power station here on Gotland, but that wont last forever. What if we actually were cut of from the main land and had to take care of our selves.
I guess it wouldn't be a problem, since we all are taking care of each other. But the first period it would be hard, just to collaborate all the main functions and so...
I guess it will never happen, but still! The thought just struck me. We are so vulnerable, hooked up by two power cords, to the main land!
They have always had us in their grip...
söndag 2 september 2012
Wow....!
Wow... That is like almost all I can say right now.... Wow!
Was participating in a film contest called Noo Maraton, this weekend. It is a contest in Sweden where you get 24 hours to make a film out from some certain criteria, and with no budget at all.
The theme for this year was: Temptations
And the criteria were three places ( A ditch, in centrum and on a bed) and three objects (Message in a bottle, an old cloth and a spatula).
Saturday morning at 9 a.m. we got those criteria on the phone and then it was just of to work. 24 hours of complete chaos.
The most important thing in this contest is to make a story that works. It is more of a storytelling contest than a film contest, even though the jury will look at the technical work as well.
We worked with the story for about 7 hours and then we started to shoot the film. And worked with the shooting for about 7 hours and then we edited the film during 6 hours.
At 4.45 a.m. Sunday morning we were done and the film were uploaded at youtube. And Friday the 14th of September there is this regional contest and if we win we will go to Stockholm and participate in the national competition.
Our story became breath taking and strong in many ways. We realized that we had a very dark mind and that we needed to do something like this, just to proof for ourselves that we don't need to go safe in our story.
And when we got the music from Jorge Mendez, a young talented composer from Mexico, everything just came to place and we almost had tears in our eyes while looking at what we had done.
A big thanks to our actors and a slightly bigger thank to our child actors, Ludvig Rödland and Samuel Kåring, who did such an excellent work with such short notice.
I guess there is just one more thing to do and that is to show you the film now! Please share it with every one, and it even has english subtitles.
Love to you all and keep your fingers crossed the 14th.
Was participating in a film contest called Noo Maraton, this weekend. It is a contest in Sweden where you get 24 hours to make a film out from some certain criteria, and with no budget at all.
The theme for this year was: Temptations
And the criteria were three places ( A ditch, in centrum and on a bed) and three objects (Message in a bottle, an old cloth and a spatula).
Saturday morning at 9 a.m. we got those criteria on the phone and then it was just of to work. 24 hours of complete chaos.
The most important thing in this contest is to make a story that works. It is more of a storytelling contest than a film contest, even though the jury will look at the technical work as well.
We worked with the story for about 7 hours and then we started to shoot the film. And worked with the shooting for about 7 hours and then we edited the film during 6 hours.
At 4.45 a.m. Sunday morning we were done and the film were uploaded at youtube. And Friday the 14th of September there is this regional contest and if we win we will go to Stockholm and participate in the national competition.
Our story became breath taking and strong in many ways. We realized that we had a very dark mind and that we needed to do something like this, just to proof for ourselves that we don't need to go safe in our story.
And when we got the music from Jorge Mendez, a young talented composer from Mexico, everything just came to place and we almost had tears in our eyes while looking at what we had done.
A big thanks to our actors and a slightly bigger thank to our child actors, Ludvig Rödland and Samuel Kåring, who did such an excellent work with such short notice.
I guess there is just one more thing to do and that is to show you the film now! Please share it with every one, and it even has english subtitles.
Love to you all and keep your fingers crossed the 14th.
tisdag 10 juli 2012
Viking village.
Well, at the Viking Village at Tofta, Gotland, we always have fun. That's for sure.
If you haven't been there before, I think you should pay a visit. Specially if you're having kids or has an interest in history.
We try to keep the village as correct as possible, even though we can't know exactly for sure how they lived back then. After all, it was over 1000 years ago it all happened.
For kids we have a lot of activites they can try. Bake their own bread, try the longbow, visit the woodcarvers house and try some of his work. See the blacksmith in action, and many other things.
We also have a monk working with herbs and makes tea for every one, with herbs grown at the village.
Three religions are represented in our village: The Vana Faith that was before the Asa faith and then Christianity that was the end ofthe Viking age.
Here are some pictures of what you can to while visiting the village. Warmly welcome!
If you haven't been there before, I think you should pay a visit. Specially if you're having kids or has an interest in history.
We try to keep the village as correct as possible, even though we can't know exactly for sure how they lived back then. After all, it was over 1000 years ago it all happened.
For kids we have a lot of activites they can try. Bake their own bread, try the longbow, visit the woodcarvers house and try some of his work. See the blacksmith in action, and many other things.
We also have a monk working with herbs and makes tea for every one, with herbs grown at the village.
Three religions are represented in our village: The Vana Faith that was before the Asa faith and then Christianity that was the end ofthe Viking age.
Here are some pictures of what you can to while visiting the village. Warmly welcome!
fredag 6 juli 2012
Busy life...
Oh, and the were the three dots again (...)
I really don't know why I love them so much, but they actually means something for me.
July... Summetime... Vaccation time, they say. Not for me.
Once again I have to much to do! This summer I am working on my normal work, and above that I am working at our Viking Village in Tofta as their Herb Master. And above that I am in a play that will be running during Medeltidsveckan på Gotland, week 32, this year.
I am playing three different parts and even am a dancer. So a lot of rehersals, but that will be fun! You have to come and see they play!
And above that I am running my company.
Vaccation time? No way....
Oh, and I shot a short film for a guy called Kristoffer Persson. He wanted to make a viking age short film and asked me to be his cinematographer. I think we did a great job. Short of time and no budget, but we had fun!
Here are some pictures from that shooting. Shot at the Viking Village in Tofta. Starring: Jakob Hellgren, Sandra Ahlqvist and Rikard Dahlberg.
I really don't know why I love them so much, but they actually means something for me.
July... Summetime... Vaccation time, they say. Not for me.
Once again I have to much to do! This summer I am working on my normal work, and above that I am working at our Viking Village in Tofta as their Herb Master. And above that I am in a play that will be running during Medeltidsveckan på Gotland, week 32, this year.
I am playing three different parts and even am a dancer. So a lot of rehersals, but that will be fun! You have to come and see they play!
And above that I am running my company.
Vaccation time? No way....
Oh, and I shot a short film for a guy called Kristoffer Persson. He wanted to make a viking age short film and asked me to be his cinematographer. I think we did a great job. Short of time and no budget, but we had fun!
Here are some pictures from that shooting. Shot at the Viking Village in Tofta. Starring: Jakob Hellgren, Sandra Ahlqvist and Rikard Dahlberg.
onsdag 6 juni 2012
Believe!
Sometimes I just have to trust that God carries me. When it gets too rough, too heavy, too far, I know I can rely on God.
And when things just strikes me, without any warning, and I feel how I loose my grip and fall down, helpless, I just have to have faith in God and pray that he will catch me before I hit the ground.
I have no idea that life would struck me this hard, and reality just punched me in my stomach so I lost my way of breathing. Tears falling down my cheeks. This tremendous pain and fear. And all I could think of was to first talk to someone, and then just find a way to talk to the Lord.
Read a Bible verse, pray, just close my eyes and for a moment let him do his healing work in me.
I do believe. I believe in Him and I am glad that I do.
So Lord, please hear my prayer. I pray that you will come and heal the wounds that was given me and those amongst me tonight. Please meet us and let us lay down beside you and rest within your shelter.
I pray for my friends and that you will heal their souls. Save them from the dark things that are happening. I pray that You will come before us and just let us now you care and want to help us.
I pray in Your name, Jesus Christ! Amen!
And when things just strikes me, without any warning, and I feel how I loose my grip and fall down, helpless, I just have to have faith in God and pray that he will catch me before I hit the ground.
I have no idea that life would struck me this hard, and reality just punched me in my stomach so I lost my way of breathing. Tears falling down my cheeks. This tremendous pain and fear. And all I could think of was to first talk to someone, and then just find a way to talk to the Lord.
Read a Bible verse, pray, just close my eyes and for a moment let him do his healing work in me.
I do believe. I believe in Him and I am glad that I do.
So Lord, please hear my prayer. I pray that you will come and heal the wounds that was given me and those amongst me tonight. Please meet us and let us lay down beside you and rest within your shelter.
I pray for my friends and that you will heal their souls. Save them from the dark things that are happening. I pray that You will come before us and just let us now you care and want to help us.
I pray in Your name, Jesus Christ! Amen!
tisdag 5 juni 2012
Prometheus - The Movie
Went with some friends last night to see Prometheus at the cinema. And I have to confess I got disappointed. It was not what I had expected it to be.
One of my very good friends, who knows I am a chicken when it comes to scary films, told me to bring a pillow to hide in if it got to scary... Well, let's just say I didn't need a pillow at all.
At three times it go a bit tensed and I raised a hand to cover my ears, but also, the sound was to freaking loud in the cinema.
Prometheus... It was a bit cool, nice effects and so, but the story. Come on! It felt like it had no story. The came, they saw and then you just felt: What?! I wanted more. I actually wanted to be scared. I just left the cinema with a big question-mark printed in my forehead.
Also to see your swedish actress Noomi Rapace in the leading role was disappointing. Really... I mean, you could hear she was from Sweden when she talked, even though she had go a lot of training.
The only actor in the film that made a really good work was Charlize Theron. Excellent work and a very good performance.
Can I recomend Prometheus? No, it was not worth spending 120:- SEK to see a film in 3D, that would be just as good as in 2D, maybe even better. And the story just makes this film worth to see when it comes out on Blu-ray and DVD.
Sorry Ridley and Noomi... I know you can do better than this.
fredag 1 juni 2012
World Wide Web premier!
torsdag 31 maj 2012
fredag 11 maj 2012
To change an attitude!
torsdag 26 april 2012
Normativity.
tisdag 10 april 2012
Working...
Sorry for not writing in a while... I have been working, like never before.
Right now I am in charge of three productions: One that is on the editing table, one that we are shooting right now and one that will be shot in May...
And on top of that I am going to Åland for work during next week, and then I also have my regular work. But I enjoy life so much!
Here is a picture from the production that we are shooting right now. It is a short film called "Ofsi - The svaiour of the forest." and will be a film for children about a troll that one day finds some leeking oil drums just outside there nest and does what he can to save the forest.
On the picture you can see me working as a First Assistant Director and then Nicklas Nordborg as Aldru, Ofsis father.
Also wanted to provide you with some links where you can find out more about my work:
www.facebook.com/KarinsSaga
www.twitter.com/ProdGotland
www.produktionsplatsgotland.se
Well, back to work and I'll try to be better at updating my blog.
Love ya all!
onsdag 28 mars 2012
Right or wrong?
Sizzla will play at Slakthuset... The world is in turmoil and rightly so! For he has delivered its hugely negative about gay people.
Today's question on the QX is: Can an artist sing about anything?
I replied, Yes!
Clearly an artist can sing just about anything, then it's up to us who listen to judge the artist according to preference of taste.
Sizzla sings about what he wants and thinks. And we judge him because we think it's wrong. What suffers most of his views are actually Sizzla!
Good that we stand up for our rights, but do not forget that everyone has the right to be heard, then it's up to them to actually stand still for the pressure when the tsunami wave of critics arrives.
Today's question on the QX is: Can an artist sing about anything?
I replied, Yes!
Clearly an artist can sing just about anything, then it's up to us who listen to judge the artist according to preference of taste.
Sizzla sings about what he wants and thinks. And we judge him because we think it's wrong. What suffers most of his views are actually Sizzla!
Good that we stand up for our rights, but do not forget that everyone has the right to be heard, then it's up to them to actually stand still for the pressure when the tsunami wave of critics arrives.
fredag 23 mars 2012
Spring time.
Well, what can I say... Spring is here and that just makes me happy! The sun i shining everyday with a clear blue sky and the temperature is rising.
And then we have then phenomena that every one starts to fall in love... Couples is getting new strength in to their relationship, singles is looking everywhere for other singles and then we have those who are singles and just feels sad about the whole thing...
Poor them... Must be hard to see all the couples and others who are in love and then realize that they doesn't have any one them selves...
Me?! Naw, I don't give a damn. I am in love in life! I don't care about finding Mr. Right. I am not in a mood for hunting. I love my life and I love my friends. And if I fall in love, then shit happens. :D
I do love one guy.... Have loved him for more then 5 years now, and he knows it. And even if it will never be anything between us I couldn't be more happier. Since we are so good friends and accepts our feelings that is.
Spring time! Just be happy! Get your energy filled up. Don't waste it on realizing you are single. Don't worry.... Be happy....!
onsdag 14 mars 2012
Plastic, it's fantastic!
Well, I hope you can understand my irony in that... At least after this.
I am kind of amazed that when I am doing my waste separation the thing that I moste often have to go out the recycle bins to throw away is plastics!
Not paper, garbage, compost, glass or batterys. No plastic! That is chocking!
And then I started to look around and every where I looked I could see that there was something containing plastic. Plastic jars, plastic cups, things wrapped in plastic, plastic bags, plastic bottles (non refunding ones).
Why is it that evertyhing has to be wrapped up in plastic? Why is it that jam and oil and ketchup are in plastic bottles?
What's the deal with plastic!!!?
It is a good thing that we can do our waste separation and that almost everything is recyclabel, and that we here in Sweden has a good way of dealing with this.
I know that there are so many countries out there who doesn't recycle or doing any kind of waste separation. That is horrible.
Just take compost for an example. If you put away left overs from you dinner and instead of just throwing it away as garbage just put it in a compost and than you will get fertile soil to put on your plants or in your garden.
I know that when I get my house, whenever that happens, I will be even more picky about my waste separation and recycling. It is all about taking a responsibility for our selves, this planet and our children who will live here after us!
Plastic, it's fantastic: Hell no!
I am kind of amazed that when I am doing my waste separation the thing that I moste often have to go out the recycle bins to throw away is plastics!
Not paper, garbage, compost, glass or batterys. No plastic! That is chocking!
And then I started to look around and every where I looked I could see that there was something containing plastic. Plastic jars, plastic cups, things wrapped in plastic, plastic bags, plastic bottles (non refunding ones).
Why is it that evertyhing has to be wrapped up in plastic? Why is it that jam and oil and ketchup are in plastic bottles?
What's the deal with plastic!!!?
It is a good thing that we can do our waste separation and that almost everything is recyclabel, and that we here in Sweden has a good way of dealing with this.
I know that there are so many countries out there who doesn't recycle or doing any kind of waste separation. That is horrible.
Just take compost for an example. If you put away left overs from you dinner and instead of just throwing it away as garbage just put it in a compost and than you will get fertile soil to put on your plants or in your garden.
I know that when I get my house, whenever that happens, I will be even more picky about my waste separation and recycling. It is all about taking a responsibility for our selves, this planet and our children who will live here after us!
Plastic, it's fantastic: Hell no!
måndag 5 mars 2012
Getting closer!
We are getting closer to our goal on the short film. And that is just so super exciting!
We have now got more fundings and got more people talking about us and that just helps.
And the spring is entering our lifes and that makes me happy as well! And it feels that my memory is getting better. I do remeber stuff better now.
Maybe a combination of the pills I am taking and that the sun i shining almost every day.
I feel happpier now than I did 4 weeks ago.
We have now got more fundings and got more people talking about us and that just helps.
And the spring is entering our lifes and that makes me happy as well! And it feels that my memory is getting better. I do remeber stuff better now.
Maybe a combination of the pills I am taking and that the sun i shining almost every day.
I feel happpier now than I did 4 weeks ago.
lördag 3 mars 2012
Vegan, for a day...
I decided that I, for today, would only eat vegan food. And you know, it aint that boring as people think! :)
It is all about the spices, you know.
Recepie for todays lucnh:
Carrots
Garlic
Celery
Tomatoes
Red Onion
Red Lentils
Olive Oil
Tomatoe paste
Water
Pasta
Then the spices:
Herb salt
Cinnamon
Black pepper
Cumin
Garam Masala spice
Red pepper power
And belive me, that is sooooo tasty!
So to all my vegan friends out there: I can eat vegan too, and I like it!
It is all about the spices, you know.
Recepie for todays lucnh:
Carrots
Garlic
Celery
Tomatoes
Red Onion
Red Lentils
Olive Oil
Tomatoe paste
Water
Pasta
Then the spices:
Herb salt
Cinnamon
Black pepper
Cumin
Garam Masala spice
Red pepper power
And belive me, that is sooooo tasty!
So to all my vegan friends out there: I can eat vegan too, and I like it!
fredag 2 mars 2012
Updated version of me!
Ego-boost! I got my self a haircut. And that is a big deal, for me.
Last time I can remember that I got a haircut was 2008, and then for the short film "Back to Home" that we did then.
After that I have just used the hair clipper at home and got help from my friends at sometimes.
But last day I finally got a hair cut. And I am pleased with the outcome.
I told my hairdresser that he had free hands to do what he wanted, and he did. Felt really comfortable as well.
So now, when the spring is entering our island, and the sun is shining, I can shine with my new hair cut! :)
söndag 26 februari 2012
Not okay...
Well, last day was the last of four semi-finals of Melodifestivalen. And I don't know what to think, once again.
Charlotte Perelli, who won the big Eurovision with "Take me to you heaven" and then a few years ago competed with the cool song "Hero", made a try this time again. And I thought that she were going to make to the finals or at least to the Second Chance. But no, she had to leave...
Then we had Danny... It was predicted that he would win. But it was false, boring and not okay. The only thing I liked was the show and the costumes, but there is more to Eurovision Song Contest than just a cool show and cool costumes.
Look at Loreen's "Euphoria", that is a naked show, simple costumes and simple lightning. One dancer that together with Loreen dances a contemperary dance, that just makes the number almost perfect.
The big surprise was that Lisa Miskovsky also went to the final! And that was great! In my opinion she had the best song, but non of the songs last day was good.
In two weeks we'll know who we will send to Baku. I hope that the Swedish people votes with the mind this time...
"Euphoria" can win it all! That is the only song of all the 32 songs we have heard so far that sticks in my mind. The only song I can remeber, and you who are following this blogg know that I have a hard time to remeber stuff.
Charlotte Perelli, who won the big Eurovision with "Take me to you heaven" and then a few years ago competed with the cool song "Hero", made a try this time again. And I thought that she were going to make to the finals or at least to the Second Chance. But no, she had to leave...
Then we had Danny... It was predicted that he would win. But it was false, boring and not okay. The only thing I liked was the show and the costumes, but there is more to Eurovision Song Contest than just a cool show and cool costumes.
Look at Loreen's "Euphoria", that is a naked show, simple costumes and simple lightning. One dancer that together with Loreen dances a contemperary dance, that just makes the number almost perfect.
The big surprise was that Lisa Miskovsky also went to the final! And that was great! In my opinion she had the best song, but non of the songs last day was good.
In two weeks we'll know who we will send to Baku. I hope that the Swedish people votes with the mind this time...
"Euphoria" can win it all! That is the only song of all the 32 songs we have heard so far that sticks in my mind. The only song I can remeber, and you who are following this blogg know that I have a hard time to remeber stuff.
torsdag 23 februari 2012
Don't know...
Now I have taken 10 pills of the TriBvit. The pills I bought for my memory.
And I don't know if they are working... I can't remember... Okay, that was just a bad try for a bad joke... Sorry about that.
The fact is that I marked the pills with days, just so I know that I have taken them. Otherwise I might take an extra pill or maybe just forget to take one in the first place...
And also, I have this other medication that I need to take 5 times a day during 5 days every now and then... I then I can assure you that I need alarm clocks and mark up the pills. Crap! I am just getting older.
Right now I am thinking about going to the doctor and talk to them and see if they can help me out. Because I am running scared.
It is just the short term memory that fails...
So I guess this blogg is also a good thing for me, then I can go back a few weeks in time and see what I actually did, and felt.
Well, I have 50 more days of TribVit and then I will do my own evalution. Until then, I'll keep marking up the pills and have my alarm clock on stand-by.
And I don't know if they are working... I can't remember... Okay, that was just a bad try for a bad joke... Sorry about that.
The fact is that I marked the pills with days, just so I know that I have taken them. Otherwise I might take an extra pill or maybe just forget to take one in the first place...
And also, I have this other medication that I need to take 5 times a day during 5 days every now and then... I then I can assure you that I need alarm clocks and mark up the pills. Crap! I am just getting older.
Right now I am thinking about going to the doctor and talk to them and see if they can help me out. Because I am running scared.
It is just the short term memory that fails...
So I guess this blogg is also a good thing for me, then I can go back a few weeks in time and see what I actually did, and felt.
Well, I have 50 more days of TribVit and then I will do my own evalution. Until then, I'll keep marking up the pills and have my alarm clock on stand-by.
tisdag 21 februari 2012
My dream...
I have a dream!
Those are the words that can change everything. I have a dream! Because if you have a dream, you have hope. And hope is one of the strongest thing in the world.
What if your hope runs out? Then your dreams would just not be nothing more than a blank thought...
I have a lot of dreams. I am a true dreamer. I dream of love, to win at the lottery, to buy my own house, to be free from all my economic debts, to make my films and so on.
At some times I have stopped hoping for winning the lottery, to find love and so, and then I have just felt so unliving. Like a gray mass that just walk around with no goal...
Now I have one dream that is a bit stronger then the rest. A dream of making my filmproject become reallity. I have had this dream since I was 14 years old.
To make a film in Super 8mm film.
That dream has followed me throughout the years, and now I am almost there to make it!
But then what? What happens when I have fullfilled my dream? Does it all end?
No, I don't think so. I think that a new dream will form. A dream that I will walk around with for an other 16 years, before I make it become real.
And I don't mind. I like to dream. That is what makes me, me!
Those are the words that can change everything. I have a dream! Because if you have a dream, you have hope. And hope is one of the strongest thing in the world.
What if your hope runs out? Then your dreams would just not be nothing more than a blank thought...
I have a lot of dreams. I am a true dreamer. I dream of love, to win at the lottery, to buy my own house, to be free from all my economic debts, to make my films and so on.
At some times I have stopped hoping for winning the lottery, to find love and so, and then I have just felt so unliving. Like a gray mass that just walk around with no goal...
Now I have one dream that is a bit stronger then the rest. A dream of making my filmproject become reallity. I have had this dream since I was 14 years old.
To make a film in Super 8mm film.
That dream has followed me throughout the years, and now I am almost there to make it!
But then what? What happens when I have fullfilled my dream? Does it all end?
No, I don't think so. I think that a new dream will form. A dream that I will walk around with for an other 16 years, before I make it become real.
And I don't mind. I like to dream. That is what makes me, me!
söndag 19 februari 2012
Disaster!
Wow! I am just amazed... Yesterday semi-final 3/4 was in the Swedish competition for Eurovision Song Contest and all I can say is: Disaster!!!!!
Not a single good song. Not a tune that you remeber the day after. Nothing!
The only song that was okay... was Youngblood with "Youngblood". But the only thing that made that song good was the "boy" with the ripped shirt and a low waist on his pants. That was about it....
My neighbour said that this just sucked! And he is right. And to send a writer, Björn Ranelid, to the final... God!
I mean, he is just looking for attention. That's it! Nothing more. Just want the attention so that he wont be forgotten... Well, guess what. You already are!
But I have to see the shows just because of the hosts. You just have to love Gina Dirawi, Sarah Dawn Finer and Helena Bergström.
Gina and Sarah has been on the stage without Helena for the last two semi-finals but they are soooooo good. I do miss Helena, but she shows up in the acts between the votes, and does some excellent parodys of schlager-people and their opinions.
I just adore her!
It is a good thing that Christer Björkman is on his way away from Melodifestivalen. He hasn't done anything good for this show the past 10 years.... Lest just hope that his successor can do better to save this sinking ship!
Not a single good song. Not a tune that you remeber the day after. Nothing!
The only song that was okay... was Youngblood with "Youngblood". But the only thing that made that song good was the "boy" with the ripped shirt and a low waist on his pants. That was about it....
My neighbour said that this just sucked! And he is right. And to send a writer, Björn Ranelid, to the final... God!
I mean, he is just looking for attention. That's it! Nothing more. Just want the attention so that he wont be forgotten... Well, guess what. You already are!
But I have to see the shows just because of the hosts. You just have to love Gina Dirawi, Sarah Dawn Finer and Helena Bergström.
Gina and Sarah has been on the stage without Helena for the last two semi-finals but they are soooooo good. I do miss Helena, but she shows up in the acts between the votes, and does some excellent parodys of schlager-people and their opinions.
I just adore her!
It is a good thing that Christer Björkman is on his way away from Melodifestivalen. He hasn't done anything good for this show the past 10 years.... Lest just hope that his successor can do better to save this sinking ship!
onsdag 15 februari 2012
Short-term memory loss....
I don't know if it is my age or if it is something else, but my memory is going straight to hell...
And I have noticed more and more the past years that something is wrong.
For example, I have to check every day, before I leave home, that the stove is turned of and the safety is on, even though I haven't used the stove. But I can't rember IF I have used it...
And ofte I have to go back indoors, just to check.
I forget stuff very fast. You can tell me one thing and then I just turn away my head, and then it is forgotten...
A few years ago I sat in the sofa with my boyfriend and asked him a question, just to turn away my head and then turn back to him and asked him the same question again!
He then told me that I just had asked him that, and I said: No!
Just because I couldn't remember....
And then also, playing Wordfued on my iPhone, that are supposed to be good for your brain, and I can logg on to a game without even remember what I have written. I don't recognize a single word....
That scares me!
So know I have bought TriBvit! Pills for the brains memory function and vitality.
Will try it for 2 months, and see what happens.
The pills contains Vitamins B6 and B12, and Folic Acid.
We'll see if it gets any better, otherwise it is a visit to the doctor that is next... I think we have alzheimers in the family... Let's just hope that my problem is a lack of vitamins or any other substans.
And I have noticed more and more the past years that something is wrong.
For example, I have to check every day, before I leave home, that the stove is turned of and the safety is on, even though I haven't used the stove. But I can't rember IF I have used it...
And ofte I have to go back indoors, just to check.
I forget stuff very fast. You can tell me one thing and then I just turn away my head, and then it is forgotten...
A few years ago I sat in the sofa with my boyfriend and asked him a question, just to turn away my head and then turn back to him and asked him the same question again!
He then told me that I just had asked him that, and I said: No!
Just because I couldn't remember....
And then also, playing Wordfued on my iPhone, that are supposed to be good for your brain, and I can logg on to a game without even remember what I have written. I don't recognize a single word....
That scares me!
So know I have bought TriBvit! Pills for the brains memory function and vitality.
Will try it for 2 months, and see what happens.
The pills contains Vitamins B6 and B12, and Folic Acid.
We'll see if it gets any better, otherwise it is a visit to the doctor that is next... I think we have alzheimers in the family... Let's just hope that my problem is a lack of vitamins or any other substans.
måndag 13 februari 2012
Saturday...
Saturday evening... Part 2 in the contest of Melodifestivalen... And why, why am I still looking at it when I know that part 2 nad 3 always are the crappiest parts...
I had one group that I like and that is Timotej, four girls with a ethnopop-folklore feeling in their music. And I just love it.
And they were the best in this part, and still the just didn't make it straight to the final. Hm...
Instead "super-cute" Ulrik Munther got all the way with a song that won't make it in Eurovision Song Contest.
And we were three friends looking at this event and we all agreed that everything basicly sucked. We can't even remember some of the songs since we were playing on our cellphones....
Only good thing about this part were the hosts. Just love Sarah, Gina and Helena! The best thing that has ever happened! :D
I had one group that I like and that is Timotej, four girls with a ethnopop-folklore feeling in their music. And I just love it.
And they were the best in this part, and still the just didn't make it straight to the final. Hm...
Instead "super-cute" Ulrik Munther got all the way with a song that won't make it in Eurovision Song Contest.
And we were three friends looking at this event and we all agreed that everything basicly sucked. We can't even remember some of the songs since we were playing on our cellphones....
Only good thing about this part were the hosts. Just love Sarah, Gina and Helena! The best thing that has ever happened! :D
lördag 11 februari 2012
Filmtime!
Except from working with kids and youths in need, I am working with film. And I have a "festish" for Super 8mm film... I know, I am weird. :P
And I also like to work with medieval stuff. It is a part of my history and culture here on Gotland.
So therefore I will make a film on Super 8, and it will be a medieval drama. :D
Wanna know more?
http://igg.me/p/55924?a=335189
And I also like to work with medieval stuff. It is a part of my history and culture here on Gotland.
So therefore I will make a film on Super 8, and it will be a medieval drama. :D
Wanna know more?
http://igg.me/p/55924?a=335189
torsdag 9 februari 2012
Nope!
I don't like this day, or the day before, and the day before that...
I just don't like what's going on and since I don't know how to deal with all that stuff, I just get stressed and f*cked up!
Working with kids and youths are the best thing that has ever happened to me. No doubt about that. But sometimes I just get scared. Scared of loosing my temper, scared of loosing my work, scared of loosing the trust.
I guess I take it all to personal, and that I just have to relax and realize that I am doing the right thing. That all...
The only good thing about today is that I got cleared to go to Åland on a big film camp for youths.
I will be their supporting adult during their sparetime and maybe involved in the camp activities as well, but that is not decided yet.
Nope, this day and week we can put to history, far far away.
I just don't like what's going on and since I don't know how to deal with all that stuff, I just get stressed and f*cked up!
Working with kids and youths are the best thing that has ever happened to me. No doubt about that. But sometimes I just get scared. Scared of loosing my temper, scared of loosing my work, scared of loosing the trust.
I guess I take it all to personal, and that I just have to relax and realize that I am doing the right thing. That all...
The only good thing about today is that I got cleared to go to Åland on a big film camp for youths.
I will be their supporting adult during their sparetime and maybe involved in the camp activities as well, but that is not decided yet.
Nope, this day and week we can put to history, far far away.
söndag 5 februari 2012
Loreen - Euphoria!
And once again it is time for the national competion for this years Eurovision Song Contest.
And the first competion went okay.
I have to compliment the hostsess. They were great! I would say that they were the best one in a long time...
And then we have the songs... Well, I am not sure about my thoughts and feelings.
The best song went through, of course, and that was Loreen with the song "Euphoria". I was just breathtaking!
A powerful song, with a very powerful performance. And her intensity was just: Wow!!!!
And a big plus to her for having a dancer that wasn't skinny or extremly perfect in shape and looks. But he was damn good!
I do belive that Sweden can win ESC with "Euphoria". And I hope that the people of Sweden will continue to vote for her in the big final, here in Sweden!
And the first competion went okay.
I have to compliment the hostsess. They were great! I would say that they were the best one in a long time...
And then we have the songs... Well, I am not sure about my thoughts and feelings.
The best song went through, of course, and that was Loreen with the song "Euphoria". I was just breathtaking!
A powerful song, with a very powerful performance. And her intensity was just: Wow!!!!
And a big plus to her for having a dancer that wasn't skinny or extremly perfect in shape and looks. But he was damn good!
I do belive that Sweden can win ESC with "Euphoria". And I hope that the people of Sweden will continue to vote for her in the big final, here in Sweden!
fredag 3 februari 2012
Hey, winterland!
Finally! We have snow! :D
And still people have to complain... Why? We are living up north, it is wintertime, it is supposed to be cold and snowy!
I have to confess and say that I love it. And yes, it is really cold some time, but come on. Just dress up!
Put on you long underpants, a long sleeve t-shirt and warm socks. Don't care about the looks! There is no need to dress in a fancy jacket that can't keep to cold away, you will just get sick, and cranky....
Dress up! :D Take a walk in the fresh air! Enjoy the landscape. Then you can get inside and get your self a nice cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate.
Well, can't sit around here... Better go out and take a walk so I can deserve a cup of hot chocolate. :D
And still people have to complain... Why? We are living up north, it is wintertime, it is supposed to be cold and snowy!
I have to confess and say that I love it. And yes, it is really cold some time, but come on. Just dress up!
Put on you long underpants, a long sleeve t-shirt and warm socks. Don't care about the looks! There is no need to dress in a fancy jacket that can't keep to cold away, you will just get sick, and cranky....
Dress up! :D Take a walk in the fresh air! Enjoy the landscape. Then you can get inside and get your self a nice cup of coffee, tea or hot chocolate.
Well, can't sit around here... Better go out and take a walk so I can deserve a cup of hot chocolate. :D
onsdag 1 februari 2012
Life...
Life is what it is.
Got an eye infection, a bit exhausted from last weeks work, done a new test working with 3D that had to render for more than 17 hours.... (and I can't sleep while the computer is on, it's next to my bed)
But still, life is what it is, why complain? It could have been worse. Much worse... :)
http://www.youtube.com/embed/o45VZCXaIcs
Got an eye infection, a bit exhausted from last weeks work, done a new test working with 3D that had to render for more than 17 hours.... (and I can't sleep while the computer is on, it's next to my bed)
But still, life is what it is, why complain? It could have been worse. Much worse... :)
http://www.youtube.com/embed/o45VZCXaIcs
tisdag 31 januari 2012
Exhausting...
I have realized that when you really want to do something you enjoy, you just get in to that so much that you forget everything around you, and then, when you finally "wake up", you realize that you have forgotten to sleep, drink and eat...
No wonder I am exhausted after been learning more 3D-stuff by watchin clips at youtube and then working in the different programs. :)
I almost couldn't sleep just because I got all this crazy ideas that I want to do. Build 3D buildnings, add real live people in to that scene, add some music, special effects and so on...
And then, when I'm now rendering my first 3D sequence ever, you learn that 4 seconds of film takes 20 hours to render out....
Oh crap! That's all I can say.... And then I get exhausted just by knowing I can't do anything for the coming 20 hours, so that my PC can work smoothly.....
No wonder I am exhausted after been learning more 3D-stuff by watchin clips at youtube and then working in the different programs. :)
I almost couldn't sleep just because I got all this crazy ideas that I want to do. Build 3D buildnings, add real live people in to that scene, add some music, special effects and so on...
And then, when I'm now rendering my first 3D sequence ever, you learn that 4 seconds of film takes 20 hours to render out....
Oh crap! That's all I can say.... And then I get exhausted just by knowing I can't do anything for the coming 20 hours, so that my PC can work smoothly.....
söndag 29 januari 2012
Winter!
There is nothing that goes up against a great winter day.
Had my work at my place to day, and we took a trip to a frozen lake, nearby, and just walked around and had fun.
The sun was shining, temperature was more than okay.
The only thing I missed was to bring a lighter and some hot dogs, then we could have made a fire and just enjoyed life even more.
I guess I am blessed living where I want to do, work with what I want to work with. I decided to move back to my place of birth, just because I missed my life here. I missed the weather, the enviroment. The mood!
And now I have lived here for about 2 years, and I am just sooooo happy! :)
torsdag 26 januari 2012
Special...
Working with people in need just is something special. It always makes you happy, somehow. Even though the one you are working with might have a really bad day or life. But to know that you are helping them to live, that is something that every one should try sometime.
Last day I was with one of my guys at a dance, and there was this hat-parade. And the best hat would win.
Of course I wanted my guy to win, so I made a hat in papier-maché for him that he would decorate just as he wanted to. So it still needed to be his personal hat.
And then it was time for the cermony where they would tell wich hat was the winner. And my guy won! And just to see the joy and happiness at him, that just felt sooooo great!
I just realized then that I love my work!
I have something special. I give of my self, and I get in return a smile and to se an other growing within them self.
Last day I was with one of my guys at a dance, and there was this hat-parade. And the best hat would win.
Of course I wanted my guy to win, so I made a hat in papier-maché for him that he would decorate just as he wanted to. So it still needed to be his personal hat.
And then it was time for the cermony where they would tell wich hat was the winner. And my guy won! And just to see the joy and happiness at him, that just felt sooooo great!
I just realized then that I love my work!
I have something special. I give of my self, and I get in return a smile and to se an other growing within them self.
onsdag 25 januari 2012
Ooops.
I have totally forgotten about this blogg. Sorry folks!
I try my best to blogg, but somehow I just forget. :)
I'll try to get better.
There is to much that has happened in my life, the past 3 years, since I wrote last time...
To start with I have moved back to my place of birth, Gotland, a small island in the Baltic Sea. And that was one of my best descisions I have made. I am happy again!
I am single, but I am in love. A love that is special and a love that will never be more then just a feeling... But I will overcome that as well.
Running a new company, working with film, and working with kids and youths that are in need.
Over all, my life is good! And I will just try to do my best to post what ever I feel is needed to be posted here. :)
I try my best to blogg, but somehow I just forget. :)
I'll try to get better.
There is to much that has happened in my life, the past 3 years, since I wrote last time...
To start with I have moved back to my place of birth, Gotland, a small island in the Baltic Sea. And that was one of my best descisions I have made. I am happy again!
I am single, but I am in love. A love that is special and a love that will never be more then just a feeling... But I will overcome that as well.
Running a new company, working with film, and working with kids and youths that are in need.
Over all, my life is good! And I will just try to do my best to post what ever I feel is needed to be posted here. :)
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